Finding JOY in womanhood

I was asked to speak to our ward's young women's today about how I find joy in womanhood at this stage in my life, being a young wife and mother.  I could go on all day about the joy I feel being a woman, particularly a woman, wife and mother who has the light of the Gospel.  (:  I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on the blog... 

I was so excited to go talk to the young women.  It wasn’t too long ago, about ten years ago, that I was there, one of them, getting to graduate and go out into the world!  I would dream about the future and what was in store for me. 

I was asked to discuss how I find joy in womanhood at this stage in my life.   I’ve always loved being a girl and I’m so grateful Heavenly Father assigned our gender before we were born.  Especially now, I’m grateful to be a wife and mother!  It is so rewarding to be a wife and mother, there’s nothing better!  You've probably heard "No success can compensate for failure in the home."  Let me add to that, "No joy can come than that which comes from the home."  There’s truly no greater joy than bringing children into this world.  As I thought about what I should focus on, I kept going back to a little doodled note that was in my journal from when my husband and I were in our dating/engaged stage.  We were discussing happiness and joy and we came up with an acrostic, where each letter in the word joy stood for something. 

J – Jesus

O – Others

Y – Yourself

J – Jesus. 

            
             First and foremost, to find joy in life, we need to follow the Savior.  When we keep his commandments, we are promised his Spirit, which leads to an increase in happiness.  Making the “Seminary answers” a part of our lives – scripture study, earnest prayer, FHE, attending our meetings…etc. will bring joy.  Get in the habit of doing these things now.  I’m a young mother, and am so grateful I have a testimony and knowledge of the Gospel.  I want to instill in my young ones a love for the Gospel and the Savior, and glad I have that to give them. 

President Spencer W. Kimball: "We want our homes to be blessed with sister scriptorians…Become scholars of the scriptures - not to put others down, but to lift them up! After all, who has any greater need to 'treasure up' the truths of the gospel (on which they may call in their moments of need) than do women and mothers who do so much nurturing and teaching?" 

When I was in college, I was a little hesitant about marrying and having kids in this challenging, wicked world.  But I received assurance from Heavenly Father while listening to a conference talk, as long as we cling to the Gospel and make Christ the center of our homes, we have nothing about the future to fear.  We need to put Christ first and make him the center of our lives.  And then we can look to others. 

O – Others. 

            




            Being a wife and a mother is a self-less job.  It is service, sacrifice, around the clock.  Elder Jeffry R. Holland has said: “Mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life.  It is not surprising when the shadows under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island.”  Later he goes on to say: “You are doing God’s work.  You are doing it wonderfully well.  He is blessing you, and he will bless you, even – no, especially when your days and your nights may be most challenging.” 

It’s challenging, but we will receive his help.  And we know that anything challenging will be worth it in the end.  We have been reminded time and again by the brethren not to put off marriage or having children for selfish reasons.  Don’t be worried about the future of these things, have faith, move forward, and things will work out.  First Presidency once remarked that “Motherhood is the highest, holiest services assumed by mankind.”  It’s by serving others that we are truly happy, and that starts in our homes.  We also need to remember us.

Y – Yourself. 

Don’t lose your own identity when you become married or have children.  You need to take care of yourself.  You need to know of your self-worth and love yourself.  Get an education or some kind of training.  Give a little time to yourself to do what you like to do.  Develop your talents.  Be virtuous.  Always keep good friends around you and keep those relationships going. 

I want to admonish you to not wait for tomorrow to be happy.  I always hear a lot of people (and I have too, on occasion) say “I’ll be happy when I get a car/have a boyfriend/finish school/get married/have a good job/get a house/have kids/the kids are moved away.”  Don’t do that!  President Harold B. Lee said “Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you.”  Don’t rely on other people or situations to make you happy.  Choose to be happy now and always!

            With these things in mind, remember that happiness and joy doesn’t equal perfection.  For anyone.  I hear a lot of people say “You have the most perfect family!”  Yeah, right!  There are a lot of challenges in my life, in everyone’s life.  That’s the point of this life.  I always thought mothering young children would be so much fun and effortless.  And it can be fun but it’s definitely not effortless!  There’s cleaning to do, endless laundry pile, casseroles to cook, diapers to change, discipline issues to deal with, relationships to strengthen.  It’s difficult, but anything difficult is worth it.  And, I’m learning to find joy in these things.  I wish I could just play all day with the kiddos and not have to worry about anything else.  We need to learn to balance our time though and find joy doing mundane tasks like the dishes.  I like to ponder during these times, talk with or sing to my kids and include them in household responsibilities.  I love my husband, I love my kids.  It is so worth it to find a little note he's written for me or have my Dave come home at the end of the day and share a kiss, or to have my oldest Emma tell me “You’re doing a good job, Mom!” during a frustrating moment when I got lost and couldn’t find my way in the car, or when my little Cal came up and hugged my leg a few months ago and say “We belong togethers” or to see baby Lucy smile and wave for the first time and babble out my name.  These moments bring joy that make being a woman so worth it!

I could go on all day about what joy being a woman, and particularly the joy motherhood brings.  But I’ll close with my testimony that if you put Jesus first and serve Others, You will be happy!