Motherhood: My purpose. My privilege.

Last week, I was really getting frustrated with the attitudes and behaviors of a few of my kiddos. One night, I didn't respond in a very loving way so I went to my closet to repent and ask for help. I hate to admit, but I was seeing them as more of a problem and a nuisance and felt like a failure of a mother but as I prayed, this gentle rebuke came clearly from Heavenly Father about being their mother: "This is your purpose. This is your privilege." I am thankful that I have a partner in Motherhood and it is God. I am thankful for all of the mothers in my life who made motherhood their purpose and privilege.  No matter where you are on your motherhood journey - whether you've not yet had the opportunity in this life to have children, are struggling to conceive or if you have your hands full with a gaggle of them, if you've just given birth or have had to bury a child, if you are just starting out on this journey or if you're empty nesting, your children are grown and gone or you're starting to see grand children or great grand children born, God has a purpose for you and your life!  We are His purpose and His privilege and He has asked us to make all the little ones around us our purpose and privilege.  I am grateful for my sweet children, they are such a blessing to me!  They are my purpose.  They are my privilege.  I've been thinking about this a lot going into Mother's Day.  

It was a very happy Mother's Day!  All the week before, the kids were making plans, making cards, making gifts.  They are so sweet!  Lucy and Cov and Daddy made me blueberry pancakes.  I went out to the kitchen at one point to grab some milk for Sydnie and Lucy told me to "Get back to bed!"  Haha!  It was a nice morning and the most perfect weather.  Church was great.  Emma was the first speaker and she did a great job!  She spoke on the divine nature of women, and it fit right along with a Young Women Personal Progress requirement we've been working on.  She taught that all mothers need to have some important traits to be a mother - first love, patience, knowledge, spirituality, and kindness.  Here's part of her talk - 

"All females have the divine nature of a mom, as all women are mothers. We can all strive to live a mothers divine nature even if we are not mothers, and do not have children. We can be good examples to all kids, and be kind and supportive to them like a mother does, and in general, be a better person for them. We can have love, patience, kindness, spirituality, knowledge and be a good example.  I am so grateful to have a loving mother that cares and provides for me. "

Then we had two other youth speakers, they all did it so well!  The Primary then sang.  We did "Mother, Tell Me the Story" and the kids sang the first verse, I sang the second verse (no one else wanted to so I got stuck with doing a solo), and then we split for the third verse.  They did so great!  I love being in Primary with them!  And then Brother McCally and President Solomon spoke.  It was a great meeting.  We were given little books and chocolate bars after Sacrament meeting.  Next, we had Primary.  We had the mothers fill out a questionnaire about themselves and see if the kids could guess whose each mom was and then we sang their favorite Primary song.  When we sang "Love is Spoken Here", I just busted down crying and couldn't sing well but kept singing through my tears, along with all the other adult leaders.  I felt the spirit so strong that the message of this song is true.  I felt so grateful for my amazing mother and all she did and continues to do for me.  I told them their mothers love them more than they could ever know. That's why they brought them to Church that day. That's why they have to do things they don't want to sometimes or be told no sometimes. It's all because their mothers love them and want the best for them.  Then, a little boy reflecting on the second verse talked about how he doesn't have a dad and his dad has made lots of bad choices.  I told him that my mom was the same way but always felt strength in knowing that she had a perfect Father, a Heavenly Father, to turned to and she knew He was there for her.  He felt better after that.  It was a great Singing Time!  Then I went to nursery and sang "Mother I Love You" and did some fun hands on things about mothers with these cute little ones.  When we were leaving to go home, President Solomon stopped us and talked to our family in private.  He told us that he wanted to let us know that the Lord was pleased with our efforts at home.  He told me that he spoke of our family at Branch Conference a couple weeks before that.  He was grateful that we study the Gospel, particularly the Come, Follow Me scripture study program and try to live it at home and that it shows.  He said it must not be easy or fun trying to do it always, but said to keep on doing what were doing.  He promised us our family is being blessed and would be greatly blessed for continuing to do so.  He told us he was grateful for us being in the branch.  So often I do feel like what we're doing is not sinking in, but he assured us it is.  It was a tender mercy as many days lately are hard.  And there are lots of days I do feel like a failure.  This was the shot in the arm that will keep us going, keep us trying, keep us building.  

We made the nice drive home and then we had a quick and easy leftover lunch.  That afternoon, we took rests (Sydnie never did fall asleep), played games, talked and just relaxed.  The kids were so excited to give me what they did!  Cov made a hand plant painting and an open ended card, Lucy made a cute bird and cards, Cal made up a poem and wrote a letter and some portraits of us, and Emma got a necklace with a crystal that said "I Love You" inside it in many different languages, Dave's present is some new planters and flowers for our yard that we're putting in soon.  Then we had dinner which was ham, baked potatoes, steamed carrots, salad, and a golden Oreo cake for dessert.  Everyone pitched in and helped, Dave's always sweet to make sure I have the best day possible. We had our "Come, Follow Me" lessons about marriage, children, and obedience.  Then we video chatted with the Grandmas, and that was great!  We played Sleeping Queens last.   It was a perfect Mother's Day surrounded by those I love the most.  

Reading over and over favorite books. Dusting book ends. Wiping rear ends. Looking in that rear view mirror to check on everyone.  Checking over piles of homework and papers.  Folding up endless piles of laundry.  Paying endless bills. Trying to make sure everyone has a clean bill of health. Cooking food that is healthy. Sweeping the food off the floor.  Laying on the floor giving airplane rides.  Riding in the car together trying to carry on meaningful conversations. Carrying kids from point A to point B.  Pointing children in the right direction. Trying to teach them to choose the right and model Gospel living.  Choosing to do the best I can, and not worrying about what others think.  This is what Motherhood is to me and I am grateful for the purpose behind being a mother and that it is my privilege to be able to be one.  I am so thankful!

There was a great Mother's Day video that was put out that made me laugh and cry all at once.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdV9SHPftvU  They nailed it!   #Youareenough

Risen with healing in His wings - Easter weekend!

Easter weekend started Wednesday afternoon as that's when the kids got out of school.  We headed to Bozeman first for dinner at Ted's Montana Grill, which was SO good and we only spilled 2 drinks, checked out Bozeman Hot Springs and enjoyed splashing and soaking in the water and taking in the big sky. Then we got donuts and watched some TV at the hotel.  Fun night together. In the morning, we had the hotel breakfast and then drove to Idaho Falls for lunch and then Blackfoot to the Idaho Potato Museum.  I had been there long ago but long forgot i all.  The kids got a kick out of it and we learned many new things. We got to Utah evening and were so happy to see family again!  They were waiting for us with hugs and pot roast and potatoes.  

Sue had a stake fireside she invited us to go to. Susan and David Bednar gave a special fireside at the stake center.  Emma was able to come, and I'm so glad she did!  Shirley and Erin also came. It was definitely testimony building. They started out with a Beautiful Savior musical number which was beautiful.  The three sisters, pianist and organist sang and played with such conviction. Sis. Bednar asked us to "Walk with Christ". She discussed Jesus and His apostles on the road to Emmaeus. She talked about walking with Christ in our day.  Just as His apostles physically walked with him, she said we could walk with Him as well and have Him right by us all the way.  "Did not our hearts burn within us"? She said we could walk with Him through the scriptures, ordinances and covenants, in trials and adversity, living prophets, and relying on the atonement. She shared some personal experiences for each of these and was so real.  So real. She was soft spoken but Elder Bednar called her a rockstar, and said she was full of virtue. Elder Bednar talked about Good Friday a bit and said that sometimes we feel the atonement isn't for us or we are not worthy.  We believe in Christ but don't believe Him.  Truly, He did this for His accusers and those who killed Him, He did this for His apostles, and He did this for us!  Elder Bednar testified that what Sister Bednar said was true and told us he wished he could hold each of our faces and tell us "He did this for you!"  Powerful. Christ atoned for us to help us so we can do this life thing.  He can forgive us, lift us, help us through.  The Spirit was so palpable and strong.  Sue turned to me after and said "that alone was worth the drive down here."  And I told her I had the same thought and was just going to tell her that we could turn around and go home after that.  It was a powerful night and the best way to start off our Easter weekend.  

"The Road to Emmaus" by Liz Lemon Swindle

Picture of Sister & Elder Bednar, LDS.org

Dave and Randy went to the movie Shazaam and thought it was pretty good.  I love these fun traditions we have.  Jerry and Stacy arrived late and so we greeted them and then went to bed.  

Friday, the cousins hung out and we had a big breakfast party.  Then it was haircut and play time. In the afternoon, we went over to Grandma Di & Grandpa Scott to spend time with them and Boji who they brought down with them.  Amy & Kolby are almost done with their home they're building, it's looking amazing!  We went on a hike in NSL behind Ensign peak.  Cov led the way and did great. Some of the others were less enthusiastic and I ended up giving piggy back rides and pep talks.  It was neat to see everything from up above.  Then we played at the park there.  We ate dinner at their house and played games together.  Cov had his first sleepover with Boji that night and they had a blast sleeping in the bed tents that we used to have growing up and playing games and watching movies and eating snacks.  That evening, we made food and prepped for the baptism. And then the kids (not Lucy, she was too pooped from hiking) and Randy and Erin and I went on a walk/hike and to hang out at the park up the street.  It was a great day!

 Saturday was Lucy's baptism, it was so special and beautiful! After the baptism, all the Ryerses got together to take pictures as we were all there (except Todd's two kids) and Willey Honda in Bountiful asked us all to take a group shot with our families and our Hondas.  Dave convinced his Dad a long time ago to purchase a Honda, which He did, his Honda Accord, and since then everyone in the family has bought a Honda.  We are like the poster family for Honda, haha!  They wanted to put a picture of us all in the business.  So we're pretty much famous now.  Then we dyed Easter eggs.  Sydnie was amazed and said "woaaaa!" after each egg came out of the dye. She also tried throwing the eggs and got a kick out of breaking the shells.  The kids made some very pretty ones!  We had a dozen for each kid, so there were tons of eggs to decorate!  We went to Chuck-a-Rama for dinner.  The cousins and kids all wanted to go there.  They did this little chant and swung their fists up and down to make their voices heard.  Little Sawyer, who Cov started calling Soy Sauce on this trip, started doing it too but said "Chuck-a-rella!"  Made us all giggle!  We enjoyed some great conversation and some great food.  Then we had a glow in the dark Easter egg hunt.  Grandpa hid all the eggs of course with the help of some uncles, then Grandma gave all the kids a flash light. They did this last year but we were unable to come down.  It was a hit!  We had a blast finding the eggs in the dark!

Sunday morning, we got up saw if the Easter bunny came and sure enough, he did.  They all got a sticker/coloring book, the boys got bug nets and science slime, and the girls got necklace and a temple recommend/scripture marker, Sydnie got bubbles and they all got some candy.   We made creamed toast with a few of the hard boiled eggs for breakfast along with juice.  It was kind of colorful because of some of the cracks on a few of the eggs.  Everyone really liked it.  We went to Church with Dan & Sue to the Meadows branch Dan presides over.  They had a family from their home ward come speak and they did great and talked about what Easter meant to them as a kid and what it's come to mean to them as they've gotten older.  Then we headed to my parents ward.  They had two speakers, including a returning missionary.  My mom played the organ, and it was beautiful and she played for the choir as they sang "Consider the Lilies" and "He is Risen" and my Dad sang.  Then we went and took some pics with Mark & Mayela up near the temple.  They turned out okay.  The kids hate pictures, but know the faster they cooperate, the faster they could be done.  ;)  We went to my parents next and started getting everything ready for dinner.  The kids played, we talked, we prepped the meal.  We had cherry kolachies, strawberry spinach salad, sweet potato casserole, funeral potatoes, ham, jello eggs, and cute cake nests and ice cream for dessert.  Talk about stuffed after that!  Then we had a little program.  Dave and Mayela and my mom all shared some exceprts from "Easter's not about the Bunny, It's About the Lamb" and Christ's sacrifice and resurrection. Then Mark talked about how the atonement is like one person taking the hit for everyone else because they love them and want to give them something better.  So Cal volunteered and he had to do 10 push ups for each person who wanted a treat.  By the end, he was getting tired and weak but he kept pushing through because he wanted us all to have that sweet.  That's what our Savior did for us.  He gave all He had so we could have so much more!  After that, we went back to the Ryerses to play games, do some Switch playing, and visiting. I shared my testimony on Easter evening in social media land along with this picture of our family - "Alleluia! Because of Christ's resurrection, this life will all be worth it. We will be compensated for the hard times we go through. Death is not the end. Family relations aren't severed at the grave. We find peace and comfort. Just as He extended "Peace be unto you" (John 20:19, 21, 26) to those who were with Him right after His resurrection, He offers a peace to us today that can only come through Him. He arose so we can rise above. 2 Nephi 25:13 - "they will crucify him; and after he is laid in a sepulcher for the space of three days he shall rise from the dead, with healing in his wings." Family. Peace. Comfort. Healing. Eternal life. These are a few things the Savior brings to me. He did this for me. Hr did this for you. I am thankful for Him. I love Him! Happy Easter!"

On the way home the next morning, we did lots of reading and sticker books and eating more candy than we should've.  We stopped in Idaho Falls for some Culvers and to walk along the Snake River Greenbelt. The kids enjoyed the sculptures and art fixtures along the way, seeing the temple, and Cov was fascinated by the black lava rock.  Then we drove home the rest of the way and got cleaned up.  What a blessed Easter weekend!